Coming Soon: August


by The Great White Gypsy


A Perfect Getaway – Written and Directed by David Twohy
Zahn and Jovovich are honeymooning in Hawaii, backpacking to a secluded beach. They come across several other couples talking about a murder, and things get crazy. Twohy directed The Arrival, Pitch Black, and The Chronicles of Riddick, so you can bet it will be entertaining if nothing else. And I’ve heard the plot twist is pretty tight.
Milla Jovovich, Steve Zahn, Chris Hemsworth, Timothy Olyphant, Marley Shelton
August 7


Cold Souls – Written and Directed by Sophie Barthes
Paul Giamatti actually plays himself in this metaphysical, cultural commentary where people’s souls are commodities that can be bought and sold. Looks deep, could be my favorite one since Eternal Sunshine, but that’s a huge expectation for a rookie director.
Paul Giamatti, Emily Watson, David Strathairn, Lauren Ambrose
August 7


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Directed by Stephen Sommers, Written by Stuart Beattie and David Elliot
Van Helsing was so bad, the only thing Sommers has directed since is the Mummy amusement park ride. Big names and bigger budgets have failed in the past to adapt videogames and old TV shows very well, but Stuart Beattie (Collateral, 30 Days of Night, Australia) and David Elliot (The Watcher, Four Brothers) are pretty good writers, and the cast does look interesting. This summer has sucked for movies so far, but I still have hope for Joe.
Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christopher Eccleston, Jonathan Pryce, Sienna Miller, Arnold Vosloo
August 7


I Sell the Dead – Written and Directed by Glenn McQuaid
A Grave robber confesses his sins to a priest…and for some reason there are zombies. IFC does weird stuff sometimes (almost always involving Ron Perlman), but for the most part I’m a fan. McQuaid’s first feature.
Ron Perlman, Dominic Monaghan
August 7


Paper Heart – Directed by Nicholas Jasenovec, Written by Charlyne Yi and Nicholas Jasenovec
A movie about the filming of a documentary? I’ve never seen that. Ok, I have, but never with Seth Rogen and Michael Cera. It looks simple, funny, heartfelt, low budget; what else could you ask for?
Charlyne Yi, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen, Demetri Martin, Paul Rust
August 7


District 9 – Directed by Neill Blomkamp, Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
You’ve seen those random posters at bus stops all over? “No Humans Allowed”. Well, those are the obscure posters for this “documentary” about an alien race that stumbles upon Earth, and is put into camps and ghettos. It’s like Michael Moore’s very own Cloverfield, but even I have to admit the story sounds intriguing. And, though the writer and director are new, Peter Jackson’s presenting, so I’m assuming he at least watched it.
Nathalie Boltt, William Allen Young
August 14


The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard – Directed by Neal Brennan, Written by Andy Stock and Rick Stempson
If Ari from Entourage got fired, divorced, and became a used car dealer, this would be his spin-off movie. However, Jeremy Piven is undeniably awesome, and recognizable faces like Ving Rhames and Ken Jeong will probably outweigh virgin writers and a director from Chappelle’s Show.
Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames, Ken Jeong, James Brolin
August 14


Spread – Directed by David Mackenzie, Written by Jason Dean Hall
Could it be? Has Ashton Kutcher actually grown up? Granted, The Butterfly Effect was damn cool, but this looks like a positive departure for him. The story of a guy who makes it big in L.A., then falls for a girl who pulls all his own game on him has been done before, but I like the style of this one. Mackenzie’s done some weird stuff, but I’ll give it a chance.
Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, Margarita Levieva
August 14

AM:TP final

The Time Traveler’s Wife – Directed by Robert Schwentke, Written by Bruce Joel Rubin
Somewhere between The Fountain (minus the great director) and The Lake House (minus the bad actors) lies this adaptation of Audrey Niffenegger’s popular novel. Bana’s no Ryan Gosling, but he and McAdams look like they have some good chemistry. I’m not saying it’ll be great, but as far as chick flicks, this might be one of the less painful ones this year.
Rachel McAdams, Eric Bana, Ron Livingston
August 14


Five Minutes of Heaven – Directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel, Written by Guy Hibbert
An IRA gunman murders a UVF member in front of his little brother. After serving his sentence, the media arranges for the grown brother and murderer to meet on screen. Liam Neeson is always good, but this has the potential to beat a dead cultural horse with a hazy morality stick. Never seen anything by either director or writer.
Liam Neeson, James Nesbitt
August 21


Inglourious Basterds – Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Besides the Grindhouse segment “Death Proof”, it’s been 5 long years since Tarantino did something that was completely his own (Kill Bill Vol. 2). He returns now with his own style of war film. The Basterds are Jewish soldiers recruited by the U.S. Army in WWII France to basically beat the living hell out of the Nazis. We all know it’s going to be violent as hell, witty, and off-puttingly enjoyable. I am a little skeptical about Tarantino and Pitt, but not enough to save my money.
Brad Pitt, B.J. Novak, Melanie Laurent, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger, Til Schweiger
August 21


Halloween II – Written and Directed by Rob Zombie
House of 1000 Corpses was ok. The Devil’s Rejects was freaking amazing. Halloween was badass. So it stands to reason that H2 could very well be Rob Zombie’s best film yet. Apparently, he’s not going down the road of cheesy franchises with 14 sequels. He’s finishing up the story in the second one. He may be messing with the mythology, John Carpenter may be completely absent, but Tyler Bates is still on board, and I have goosebumps.
Tyler Mane, Malcolm McDowell, Brad Dourif, Sheri Moon Zombie, Scout Taylor-Compton, Margot Kidder
August 28


Taking Woodstock – Directed by Ang Lee, Written by James Schamus and Elliot Tiber
This may be the “summer vacation’s over” film this year, but I gotta say I’m opposed to it. Demetri Martin’s show sucked, and they gave him the lead? Not only that, but Ang Lee, who, together with James Schamus, brought us crap like Ride with the Devil, Eat Drink Man Woman, and Hulk (the dumb one), was 15 living in Taiwan when Woodstock went down. I don’t like it one bit, and so many people are going to yell at me for that.
Demetri Martin, Eugene Levy, Emile Hirsch, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Liev Schreiber, Paul Dano, Kelli Garner
August 28



The Collector – Directed by Marcus Dunstan, Written by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton
The guys who wrote and directed multiple Saw films, and all of the Feast flicks are back with an original horror movie about an ill-timed burglary that traps a man in a house with a family that is already at the mercy of “the collector”. Looks creepy and cool as hell, but the fact that I didn’t see anything about this until yesterday, and they’re already calling the main guy a “horror icon” makes me skeptical.
Madeline Zima, Andrea Roth, Josh Stewart
July 31


Balibo – Directed by Robert Connelly, Written by Robert Connolly and David Williamson
Based on the true story of the Balibo 5, a group of five Australian journalists that disappeared during the invasion of East Timor in 1975. Looks good, the writer and director are experienced in Australia. Just can’t find a solid release date.
Anthony LaPaglia
August 13 (limited)


Taxidermia – Directed by Gyorgy Palfi, Written by Gyorgy Palfi and Lajos Parti Nagy
Watching the preview for this made my head hurt. Visually beautiful, sweeping, and surreal, it’s about three generations of the same family, and their crazy fantasies. It was released in Hungary in 2006, but didn’t get a very limited US release date until last month. You can probably find it online or on DVD, but it looks interesting.
Csaba Czene, Gergely Trocsanyi, Piroska Molnar
August 14 (rumored)

The Marc Pease Experience – Directed by Todd Louiso, Written by Jacob Koskoff and Todd Louiso
About a high school musical star stuck in a high school mind set eight years later. I have serious doubts that a movie with Ben Stiller and Jason Schwartzman wouldn’t be advertised, but all I’ve found so far is a sketchy release date, so look for it. Directed by the skinny Moby look-alike from High Fidelity.
Ben Stiller, Jason Schwartzman, Anna Kendrick
August 21 (rumored)

One Response to “Coming Soon: August”

  1. Taxidermia was an insanely disturbing movie. Kinda good. But kinda….”meh”. But overall, still worth watching….in a 2 girls 1 cup sorta way….but not that bad.

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